Thursday, 4 July 2013

Eat My Erotic Shorts!

New Short Stories by A.K. Anders - Thanks to The Thatcherstazi

Determined not to see me waste my valuable time while I was in hiding from the Thatcherstazi (see previous but one blog), my two dear ladies advised me to use that time in hiding productively, by writing. I am so glad I listened to them, wise ladies that they are. A few weeks back, I came across the somewhat dog-eared Moleskine notebook that I used to jot down some new erotic short stories with one of those short betting-shop biros. The limited ink in that biro only just lasted the course. I immediately set about editing and publishing them individually on KDP. These are the first eight. Once all the stories are individually published, I intend publishing them as a collection. I will probably entitle that 'My Erotic Shorts' or possible 'Eat My Erotic Shorts' (just decided to change the title of this blog).

Model is not A.K. Anders

The cellar in which I was holed-up, had no power or water and was devoid of daylight. Once a day I ventured upstairs to use a backyard toilet and to collect a coolbox of food and water from a friend (eternally grateful to my fellow author MS). I did have an emergency bucket but tried to avoid using it – I have always been most sensitive to aromas. I don't wear a watch and had no clock so I was mostly unaware of time. It was an interesting experiment in sensory deprivation. Unfortunately I did not experience the kind of hallucinations that William Hurt enjoyed in the film 'Altered States'.

Image courtesy of

This cellar-life gave me little else useful to do but to think and write. The result of my time alone in that cellar is five new short stories. My ladies like them. You might think one of them would have been an erotic tale of me being trapped in a cellar with a gorgeous and adventurous nymphomaniac. If so you (like my ladies) will be disappointed – at least so far. I have notes for more to come. The stories are erotic but mostly err on the side of my favoured 'romantic-erotic' genre. Here is a brief synopsis:

All are available on Amazon at minimal cost. Due to regional differences I advise going to my author's page or entering the title or author name into your local Amazon website's search box.

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Not For Training Purposes
An Erotic Short Story – with humour.
Martin receives a phone call one evening from Her Majesty's Revenue & Customs. Sure it is yet another prank by the admin girls at the university where he works as a junior lecturer, he tries to turn the tables by embarking upon a conversation in the guise of 'phone sex'. The consequences take him further than he expects.

On My Way To The Church Hall
An Erotic Short Story
Lawrence is a respectable man in his 50's. One day on his way to the church hall he is called upon to assist a young woman who has locked her valuables in the bathroom in the house of his friends who are away. The Slovakian girl is house-sitting. Using a ladder, he climbs in the window and releases the door. But after a polite cup of tea, Lawrence soon finds himself losing control while sampling Saskia's grandmother's strong homemade spirit.

Tickets Please!
An Erotic Short Story - with humour
An innocent young woman takes a sleeper train and is awakened in the night when a section of bulkhead falls out onto her bunk. Slowly she becomes aware that she can see into the next compartment. Later she witnesses a half drunk man return to his girlfriend, mimicking a conductor for a joke. Unable to find her ticket he tells her he must have his way with her as payment / punishment. The young woman looks on as the man punishes his girlfriend before the tables are turned on him.

See Me After The Lesson!
An Erotic Short Story - with humour
Two precocious sixth-form girls chat after returning to boarding school, discussing their adventures during summer holidays. One notices the other has an interest in the young Economics teacher and lures her into the Lacrosse pavilion to tell her about her fantasy about him. The heat rises and the two end by acting out the scene.

An Outdoor Girl
An Erotic Short Story - with humour
Polly is disturbed by a young farmer while picnicking semi-naked in a remote hilltop field. Unfortunately the farmer's Labrador has a penchant for ladies underwear and runs off with her panties and shorts. Stranded, she is saved by the gentlemanly behaviour of the farmer who runs to fetch a pair of shorts for her. That night her true desires come to her in a powerful dream that changes her life and her view of the outdoors forever.

An Erotic Short Story - Mildly humorous
Howard is a retired grocer and a keen member of a local birdwatching society who take weekly walks. Today, Winifred is the only other member who turns up. Their relationship is formal. Winifred, a spinster, is a charity worker and heavily involved in the local Women's Institute. A little disturbed by having inadvertently picked up an erotic book in Oxfam that week, Winifred finds herself considering the possibility of trying out sex with Howard while out walking. 

WARNING elderly people may find this story shocking and should not read it if they have a heart condition, without first consulting their doctor.

Something From Upstairs
An Erotic Short Story - With humour
Terry opens a second-hand bookshop but is troubled by unruly schoolchildren coming in to buy comics. One Viola, day a six-form girl, comes in and seduces him. Terry soon becomes involved in a social science experiment organised by Viola and her friends. Finally the project is submitted by the girls and all hell breaks loose. Needless to say the press find out and Terry is brazenly exposed. 

Banged Up
Erotic Short Story
The Author, A.K. Anders, is forced to go into hiding after British security forces hound him, over the possible true identity of a character in his book (The Pimlico Tapes). Living for 2 weeks in a tiny celar room in central London, he begins to hallucinate due to sensory deprivation. One night, Anders is unexpectedly joined by an diminutive Indian woman, Jamini, who has escaped from a brutal fiance in an arranged marriage. She has been sent by his two ladies, she tells him. Anders soon discovers that Jamini has special talents and the two spend the ensuing weeks occupied in gentle sensual experimentation. Despite no electricity, no window, and not enough room to swing a cat, boredom never raises its ugly head. 

A powerful tale of how the human mind can overcome sensual deprivation and turn an intolerable situation into an enviable one.